Feelings
by water sprite
Summary: This isn't about Lyra, it's about this servant at Jordan College and kinda what she thinks about everthing, Please R/R


Feelings  
  
  
'Why does Lyra always get everthing? She is so bossy and rude, ugh! It just makes me sick watching Simon drool all over her like that! I thought he was my friend, well I guess not, not after Lyra came back. Who cares where she went anyway? Who cares if she saved the world! Any old person could have done that! Just because she was the one Too do it doesn't mean she deserves all this attention! I wish I could talk to Simon again, it was nice when we could talk to eachother. But now that Lyra's back all he ever does is hang out with her. Well if he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore then I'm not his friend either! I bet he was just using me anyway, I was just something to do while Lyra was gone, Well I won't stand for that! I won't!' Laurel got up from her "Thinking spot" and stamped her foot on the ground. She had been sitting on a small rock at the top of one of the hills at Jordan College, watching Simon Parslow and Lyra walk away together. 'Probably planning another scheme to help ruin my life with' Laurel had thought.  
  
"Lor, just leave it, Lyra isn't worth wasting our time with, and if we don't get back home soon, the Master will punish us again." Laurel's tiger daemon nudged her forward.  
  
"I don't care if we don't ever go back there again, Jar! I hate being a servant, I'm not a servant! and I won't go back!"  
Laurel stamped her foot again and then wiped her eyes because they were getting watery.  
  
"Come on," Jar nudged Laurel again but she wouldn't budge."It won't help trying to run away again, Lor. You'll just get in even more trouble when they catch you, so come on."  
  
'I hate Simon! I hate the Master! I hate Lyra! Lyra, would you stop messing with my life! Just go away! Just because I'm your servant doesn't mean that I'll do everything you want, infact I won't do anything you want, and don't go telling on the Master, MISS Lyra. and Simon is my friend! I know him way better than you! so stay away! I hate my parents! It's their fault that they died and I'm now stuck here, It's their FAULT! Stupid parents!' Laurel burst out crying at the thought of her parents, and she colapsed on her rock. 'I hate Life!'  
  
"Lor....." Someone said hesitantly, coming up behind her. They touched her on the shoulder and sat down beside her. "Lor, what's wrong? You can tell me." Laurel immediatly bolted upright at realising who it was.  
  
"I hate you Simon! now, Go away!" She screamed.  
  
"NO! now you tell me what's bothering you, you haven't spoken to me in a week!" Simon face was angry but it also looked concerned to.   
  
"I am not planning on talking to you ever again! and There is nothing bothering me!" Laurel got up and began to run down the slope, her tiger daemon at her heels.  
  
"LOR!" Simon ran after her."Is it about Lyra?" That was definatly the wrong thing to say. Laurel stopped and turned around.  
  
"Don't you ever say that name aloud again! and I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU!" She knew she was being very childish, but Laurel didn't care. 'He makes me so mad sometimes, but at least he asked' Laurel thought. She walked away, leaving Simon very bewildered and confused.   
  
"You shouldn't have done that," Jar said, after they had walked a bit. "He was concerned about you, couldn't you tell?"  
  
"I don't care, I'm in a very bad mood right now, and I hate everything." They were approaching the servants quaters now, and Laurel could see up ahead, the Master of Jordan, probably waiting for her, at the steps.  
  
"Laurel, I don't know what to do with you!" The Master said. He looked angry.  
  
"Why don't you just let me go home! I can take care of myself!" Laurel almost screamed, she would burst out crying again if nobody left her alone.  
  
"I can't let you go back, Laurel, you have nowhere to go. Now, we've had this discussion before, I took you in out of the goodness of my heart, you can at least show some thankfulness."  
  
"I didn't want to come, and I am not a servant! I won't be treated like one!"  
  
"Your parents were servants, and so are you, so you will be treated like one! don't try and act above your class!"  
  
"I am not a servant and I won't act like one! Now, If you will excuse me, I'm tired!" Laurel ran up the staircase to her small servant room before the Master could say anything else. She flopped down on her cot.  
'Why do things have to be so unfair? I might look like a servant, but I'm not, not on the inside.' Laurel thought, tears trickling down her cheeks.  
"I'm not a servant, Jar. If I was, you would be a dog, but you're a tiger." She said and then yawned. Jar was already asleep though, and Laurel fell asleep soon after.  
  
They slept most of the night, until Laurel was rudely awakened by someone saying,"Wake up, Lor!"  
Laurel slowly opened her eyes and saw a faint figure bent over her. She sat up and blinked a couple of times. 'Was it morning already? No, it was still dark outside.'   
  
"Lor, I need to talk to you, I know you're mad at me for some reason, and I want to know why, what did I do?"  
  
Laurel blinked again, her eyes getting used to the dark. Yes, it was Simon, she could see his broad shoulders and brown head bent down, sitting at the end of her cot now. Laurel got up and sat down beside him. 'How could she be mad at this poor inocent being?'   
  
"I'm not mad at you, Simon, you're the only one I'm not mad at these days," She smiled at him and he smiled back looking relieved."I'm just not a servant, Simon. I've been very annoyed, ever since Lyra came back and the Master assigned me to her. And you've been spending so much time with her, it's just been annoying. That's all."  
  
"I know you're not a servant, Lor, you just don't fit the part." Simon put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. Laurel snuggled up closer to him and put her head on his shoulder.  
'How could I have ever been mad at him?' She asked herself.  
  
Simon's rabbit daemon was nudging closer and closer to Laurel's daemon, Jar didn't push the rabbit away and Simon took this as a sign. He pulled Laurel away from himself for a moment and searched her eyes. Laurel looked into his eyes to. 'It's alright.' She thought.  
  
Simon pulled her towards himself and kissed her, it wasn't a kiss of friendship though, it was more than that. Laurel kissed him back with all her heart.  
  
And for that moment when they were kissing eachother everything was perfectly fine, and Laurel was perfectly happy, for the first time since she had arrived at Jordan.  
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Laurel, everthing else belongs to Phillip Pullman :)  
  
A/N ok, I know that really sucked, but it's my first attempt at romance :) If you've gotton this far, please review ^_^ thanx  
  



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